


Waiting in the Sky

by Caeseria



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diary/Journal, Drama, Dubious Science, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Humor, M/M, Science Fiction, Slice of Life, Survival, This is not The Martian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 13:16:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5457773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caeseria/pseuds/Caeseria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During Konoha's first manned mission to Mars, Umino Iruka is presumed dead during a storm and left behind by his crew.  Now he's just hoping he'll survive long enough to be rescued.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting in the Sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [houkouonchi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/houkouonchi/gifts).



> Dear Houkouonchi, happy holidays! Yes, I picked the crazy prompt from your list, and set about using a lot of dubious ninja pseudo-science to explain things. I hope you enjoy Iruka's journey :)
> 
> The title 'Waiting in the Sky' is a line from the song 'Starman' by David Bowie.

Waiting in the Sky

SOL +5

I’ve decided to keep track of the days from Mission Abort, rather than start of mission. It seems easier than tacking extra days on from the beginning, because if it comes to life and death calculation I don’t want to have to be subtracting days from the total. That’s where errors creep in, and right now I can’t afford to make a single error or it’ll kill me. Not that this mission hasn’t already tried, but I’m not about to give fate an extra helping hand.

I should really go back and start from the beginning, just for posterity. Okay, not really, more to keep me from boring myself to death here while I recover. Getting a piece of sharp pointy metal in my side was never on my bucket list, and I can confirm it is officially Not Fun. Neither is the surgery I had to perform on myself afterward.

Anyway, I should start at the beginning, where all stories begin.

My name is Umino Iruka, and I was a school teacher in another life. It seems like such a long time ago: I was the teacher of Uzumaki Naruto before the last Great Ninja War. I was the first person to recognize him; I took him under my wing and I think in the end, along with his other sensei, he became a great man.

What did I become? Well, after the war, I helped to rebuild Konoha. Ninja the world over banded together and we swore a pact that there would be no more wars, and no more fighting. At least not officially; ninja are trained in deception after all. Konoha, for it’s part, continued to collect information and we shared that with the other nations. On the surface we all got with our lives - our boring lives. It is difficult for those raised during war to enjoy the peace that comes afterward; we need to do something meaningful with our lives. So we took the energy we had placed into warmongering and looked instead for something else to do, something meaningful.

We looked to the stars and said; _Here is a place that we can go. Here is somewhere we can explore_.

So we did.

We spent the years after the war developing jutsu, using our most creative minds, until the Great Jutsu was created. By this point, my errant pupil Naruto had become Hokage. We went to him with our findings, our research and our knowledge and showed him what we had created. We needed not only his approval for the next stage, but his almost unlimited well of chakra. As one of only two remaining jinchuuriki, he alone would have the power to help us accomplish our goal. Uzumaki Naruto was the one person with enough chakra who could complete the jutsu which would put a small team of men into space – namely, to go to Mars.

Six months went by while preparations for the completion of the Great Jutsu (as it came to be known) continued. During that time a team of six ninja was hand-picked for the trip. Somehow, I was chosen. I tried to tell them I was just a simple school teacher, but they said I’d been involved from the beginning, and also my knowledge of basic jutsu and survival skills was the perfect thing to form the core of the team. I was to be the voice of reason, the rock around which the rest of the team would be created. It was also never said, but to a certain degree I was expendable. I had no family, being orphaned at a young age, and in the short years since the war I had not married. Therefore, if anything happened, I would not be mourned.

Of course now that something _has_ gone spectacularly wrong, I hope at least someone will think of me occasionally. Here, on the red sands of Mars, I wonder if anyone is looking up at me and wondering if I am looking down at Konoha. I know this introspection sounds very unlike me; Umino Iruka: crusty on the outside and a ball of feelings on the inside. I know what people said about me. I can only hope that in the future people will continue to think well of me.

So now you’re probably wondering when I’m going to get the point and explain why I’m stuck here alone on another planet.

The truth is shit happened rapidly, like it usually does. We’d been here a total of six days, me and the team: Mitarashi Anko as mission and team leader, myself, Hagane Kotetsu and Kamizuki Izumo, Namiashi Raido and Shiranui Genma. On day six, a massive sandstorm had blown in, one that formed seemingly out of nowhere. Anko pulled the plug on the mission, because we didn’t think the hab could stand up to the kind of winds Mission Control was forecasting. So our options were to stay and possibly ride it out (and probably die in the process), or head for the Mars Assent Vehicle and abort the mission. We chose to abort.

We were on our way to the MAV when a piece of the communications array broke off the hab. It ricocheted through the air, hit an antenna and then the antenna slammed into my side, point first. It went right through me; worse than any pain I’d ever felt from jutsu or weapon. My ears popped as the pressure in my suit escaped and then I blacked out.

I was woken by the beeping oxygen alarm in my suit. I was in extreme pain, and facedown in the sand. Later, I figured out what had happened: my suit had auto-sealed itself around the wound – lucky really, since being facedown had helped to seal what was left of the antenna against my flesh, randomly sealing the suit and stopping it from bleeding precious oxygen out just enough for my suit to keep up with the flow.

I pulled out the antenna (somehow I didn’t pass out) and used a seal kit to close my suit. Then I half walked, half crawled back to the hab, all the while hoping I wasn’t going to bleed out.

The hab was intact, but the MAV was gone. My team had managed to escape, but I was stuck here alone.

Sometimes life just fucking sucks.

There; I swore. School teacher or not, I can swear with the best of them. Bet you didn’t expect that, did you? Or maybe you did.

 

SOL 6

Today I got up the courage to remove the bandage over my puncture wound and take a look. Ideally with deep wounds you want to keep the top of the wound open and encourage the skin to heal from the inside. This prevents unwanted infection because if you let the surface of the wound heal over it will create a pocket, and if you have any kind of foreign object in the wound under the surface it will fester before you can say Gangrene.

I say ‘ideally’ because when I finally made it back into the hab the day after the crew left, I was running on pain and adrenaline and I don’t really remember picking out the remaining bits of antenna I had had in the wound, or irrigating it and sewing it back up. I must have done so, but whatever I did is done now, so no turning back.

Fortunately for me, I must have done a good job, because the wound is healing nicely. I’ll have to remove the stitches soon and hope that there’s no infection trapped inside and festering below the surface unseen. I can only hope the entry wound was small enough that it will heal well and I will not have to experience a nasty, lingering death in the near future. If I’m successful I’ll just have another scar to add to the myriad of ones I have from the war, and prior to it. They say scars are a roadmap to a ninja’s life. I’m starting to look like a guide to downtown Konoha.

 

SOL 7

I spent today babying my wound (because there’s nobody around to judge me, ha) and sorting through the supply cases we bought with us. Most of the supply comprised of a ninja’s least favourite food group: ration bars. I guess some bastard in the Supply Division had decided these were easier to pack than actual meals. Once I’d finished counting I had a tally of 142 bars, including the ones I’ve been snacking on randomly the last couple of days. This sounds about right, because we were six crew, expected to eat a total of three meals a day for the two weeks the mission was supposed to last. Remove the bars we ate during the first six days before we aborted and there’s your total. Of course anybody smart reading this will realize I’m two bars short, clearly because some asshole on the team was doubling up on the occasional meal and not telling anyone.

If I eat two meals a day (I say ‘meal’; a ration bar is designed to get you through a mission in a life or death situation, not really substitute for proper nutrition) I should be able to survive 71 days.

71 fucking days.

That’s the equivalent of two full moons. Half a semester. The rough period of time between Halloween and Christmas.

Deep breaths, Umino. Deep breaths.

 

SOL 12

I wonder if my team made it back to Konoha. Nobody’s ever attempted to use the MAV before. Sure, it’s there for a specific purpose, but we were the first team out here and would have been the first to return. The MAV should be foolproof: initialize the first seal on the console to get through the envelope of Mars’ thin atmosphere and then, once you are clear, initialize the second which should put you nicely on top of the master seal in the basement of Mission Control. Sounds easy in theory, doesn’t it? Still, it would be nice to know my team made it back and in one piece.

In other news, I’m attempting to MacGyver a bath tub out of one of the crew bunks. Why you ask? Because there is only so many showers an onsen-loving individual can take before he goes insane with the need to soak away the stress.

 

SOL 15

It occurs to me that nobody is ever going to read this, since I doubt anyone is going to have the excess chakra or the balls to repeat that jutsu ever again. Therefore, I can pretty much say what I want, when I want. Right?

Doesn’t really matter anyway. I could pretend to be a hard ass, but in the end I’m just Naruto’s old sensei.

 

SOL 16

Hatake Kakashi really has a fucking superb arse. I used to enjoy watching him saunter down the street. I’m sure he knew I was watching him because he was after all the Copy Nin, Man of a Thousand Jutsu. The man was (is) a complete pervert, even when he was Hokage. I’m pretty sure he must have had a least one jutsu in his arsenal for knowing when he was being watched, otherwise he’d have been killed by some stray missing nin a long time ago. I mean, I saw Naruto once throw a kunai at Hatake’s head, and he caught it one-handed, while continuing to read Icha Icha Paradise. The man didn’t even look up from the page for god’s sake.

I wonder what he’d look like with his shirt off. No six packs for a god-like being like that. I bet he’s sporting at least an eight-pack under that flak jacket and mesh shirt. And Christ only knows what he’s got in his pants. I wouldn’t mind finding out, but then I did have the chance in Konoha and didn’t do anything about it. I’m pretty sure he was more than interested too, but then the war happened.

I’m an idiot.

 

SOL 19

Time to suit up and head outside to do a visual check on the hab. We were supposed to do this every couple of days, but what with me being injured and recuperating I haven’t done so. The obvious point I could make here is that the hab hasn’t decompressed, so the structure must be sound. Checking can’t hurt though, and it might be nice to get outside for a change, even if I can’t breathe the air.

 

SOL 23

I remembered I bought a supply scroll with me in my tiny baggage allowance. It’s one of my old scrolls I used to take on missions. I might even have stashed some ration bars in there. That’s what I’m hoping anyway; if I do, this should extend my available food supplies to about 63 days from now. That will give me ample time to convince myself that someone can pull off the Great Jutsu again and send a rescue team.

Of course that might happen. Or it might not. Maybe the jutsu only worked by fluke, long enough to get us up here. The other problem is that I don’t think anyone realizes I’m still alive, which means there will be no rescue mission and I’ll just have a further 60 days or so to starve slowly to death instead.

Oh joy.

Okay, I’ve got the scroll; I’m going to unpack it and see what’s in here.

 

SOL 26

I’m pretty sure I ruptured a chakra pathway or two trying to open my supply scroll. It’s taken me three days to even make it out of bed and to the console to get this down. I feel like a weak kitten; I keep breaking out in a sweat every time I try to do more than walk five paces.

This shouldn’t be so hard. Lying in bed for the last few days, I’ve tried to figure out why pulling that scroll caused such a huge energy expenditure. It shouldn’t have; even as a genin I could form seals for a simple supply scroll with my eyes closed. Zero chakra expenditure – or close to that – means it takes almost zero to replace that energy. My body should form enough chakra just through resting for that kind of jutsu. And yet – it almost damn near killed me. If I close my eyes and concentrate, I can feel the chakra in my pathways, but it’s a minuscule amount, just enough to coat them. I can usually feel my chakra regenerating, especially after using a fighting jutsu, cause it’s like a waterfall coursing through my system, filling the tanks again. Right now, when I close my eyes, I can feel only a small trickle.

I’m not afraid to admit I’m shit scared to use any kind of jutsu or chakra right now. I’ve got no backup, nobody to pull my ass of the floor if I misjudge this.

I need to think this through and figure out what happened.

 

SOL 28

I can’t believe it’s taken me two days to work this problem through. The answer is so obvious, if I wasn’t half dead from chakra abuse, I’d probably try to kick myself in my own arse.

To recap the lessons I spent years teaching every genin who walked through the doors of Konoha Academy, chakra is generated from two places – physical energy and spiritual energy. When a ninja combines these within the chakra coils and releases the energy, chakra is formed and can be used for jutsu. The physical energy part of the recipe is simple enough; exercise and training. Spiritual energy would be created by things like meditation, experience and studying. However, I’ve always suspected there’s a secondary element to the spiritual aspect for forming chakra and what happened to me a couple of days ago confirms my theory. Senjutsu is the key really – this is chakra formed from the natural elements; if a practitioner sits still for long enough they can collect this energy and blend it with their own chakra. Not everyone – in fact very few ninja – use senjutsu because it’s so difficult to consciously learn to do, but I believe we all pull at least a small amount of natural energy into ourselves, maybe not even enough for it to qualify officially as ‘senjutsu’. It’s a bit like breathing; a person does this unconsciously but they do it just the same, but not in the quantities or with the skill a user of senjutsu does.

Which brings me to my long winded point. I believe that here on Mars, we are out of our natural element. Sure, Mars is covered in earth (or rocks and dust) and there are the remains of an atmosphere which has long been scoured away by solar wind. But it is not our atmosphere, it’s not our rocks and dust. My body is used to pulling in earth-based natural energy, it’s used to converting that into chakra. My body, it’s pathways and coils, can’t cope with the Mars-based energy. Maybe it could in time, but time is something I don’t have.

As if this isn’t bad enough, it occurs to me that when I pulled that stunt with the supply scroll, I burnt through what was left of my earth-based chakra reserves. Normally, my body would replace that pretty quickly, but since my body is unused to the Mars chakra, it doesn’t know how to convert it.

Staying positive, with enough time my body might be able to learn to assimilate the Mars energy. On the glass-half-empty side, maybe it won’t. Maybe I just burnt through the last chakra I’ll ever be able to generate. This leaves my sole survival based on the contents of a scroll that contained ration bars, a spare med kit, a tent (not helpful, ha ha), and a spare change of clothes.

I’m going back to bed. Tomorrow I’ll attempt to get up the energy to sort through my remaining food supply and calculate how long I have before I starve to death.

 

SOL 37

I can’t believe I’ve spent the last few days reading the Icha Icha series. I’m not sure who they belonged to, but it was the only thing I could find lying around to pass the time. There’s only so much Mars you can look at before you start to feel like a bug being squashed by the shear hopelessness of the situation. Of course on the other hand, Icha Icha is the most terrible, piss-poor example of purple prose I have ever, _ever_ come across.

I’m starting to think chewing off my own arm would be more entertainment than actually picking up the fourth volume of this series.

 

SOL 38

Fuck it, I can’t take anymore Mars landscape. Icha Icha Paradigm it is.

 

SOL 44

I can’t take this. I don’t think I can sit here and measure my remaining hours and days by how long it is until my next ration bar. Hunger has become something I’m used to now; that deep, unsatisfied gnawing ache in my belly. I can either sit here and conserve energy (which would be a smart thing to do) or do something about my situation.

You probably are wondering what the hell I think I can do weeks into a mission that has failed. I’ll tell you what I’m going to do – I’m going to test out my theory.

Remember when I hypothesised weeks ago about my body not being able to deal with Mars-based chakra? Well, I figure by now, my body should be getting used to it. I’m going to be a complete idiot and try another jutsu. Don’t panic on my behalf here – I’m going to start off with something small that any genin can do and see if it puts me flat on my back again.

Of course, I’d rather be flat on my back under Hatake Kakashi right now, but that’s not really an option since I’m on a different PLANET. So instead I’m going to form chakra and see if it kills me dead.

Secondary note to self: stop reading Icha Icha. Being horny is expending energy I can’t afford to waste.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Son of a bitch, I’m not dead. I just created a shadow clone with Mars chakra. I think I’ll make it clean the makeshift bathtub and then take a soak.

 

SOL 45

I’m trying not to be a cocky ass here over the whole shadow clone thing. I mean, it’s basic jutsu. But it proved my theory was not only correct but that my body is slowly adapting to the environment. If I was here long enough, the possibilities would only be hindered by what jutsu I know and what I can do with that. Of course, there is the pressing problem of running out of food in about 20 days. Life is full of lemons.

 

SOL 49

I’ve been doing calculations. Theoretical calculations on chakra expenditure. I hate these sorts of scenarios. I mean, if a student asked me about the trajectory of a kunai being thrown into a tree I can do that. I can explain how to make an exploding tag. I can even tell you how to amp that tag out so it does really, really nasty unexpected shit. I do, however, have a problem with theoretical bullshit, partly because it’s theoretical. I can do them, but it takes time. I have to keep reminding myself that right now I’m so far into theoretical on this mission that it has very little basis in reality at all, other than the fact that I’m here.

So I’ve decided to embrace theory and I’m going to use the chakra that I hope my body has accumulated in the last month or so, and I’m going to try to send a message back to Konoha. If someone knew I was actually still alive it might not really do anything for my situation, but it will sure as hell make me feel better. So I’m going to send a letter – a scroll really.

Yes, yes, I’ve been thinking this through for the last few days. The Great Jutsu required an incredible amount of focus and chakra to complete, but they were attempting to send six people to another planet along with a vehicle that could return those people later. I’m only going to attempt to send a scroll. I’m going to send it to Ibiki, former head of Intelligence & Interrogation and now head of the Mars project. Poor bastard, if this works he’s in for the shock of a lifetime. This makes me happy in a sort of sadistic, over-bubbly way.

 

SOL 50

I sent a message and haven’t expired from chakra abuse. Go me!

 

SOL 52

I was reading chapter 14 of Icha Icha Paradigm earlier today (yes, still reading, despite my promise to give it up), when there was a puff of smoke near the kitchen. At first I panicked, because things in the hab are specifically designed to not catch fire. Smoke means fire, which equals death. I admit it was not my finest moment and I am glad no-one was around to see me freak out.

Once I calmed down I realized the hab wasn’t on fire, and that the puff of smoke was a return message from Ibiki materializing.

Since this is just me and it’s unlikely anyone else will read this, I will admit I broke down and cried like a twelve year-old girl. Then I read the message:

UMINO:  
GLAD YOU ARE ALIVE. YOU CAUSED QUITE A PANIC HERE IN THE OFFICE WHEN YOUR SCROLL ARRIVED. PRETTY SURE NARA SHIKAMARU SHIT HIS PANTS WITH GLEE, BUT IT’S HARD TO TELL WITH THAT POKER FACE HE PUTS ON. HAD TO GIVE THE REST OF MY STAFF THE DAY OFF TO RECOVER. HAVE GONE PARTLY DEAF DUE TO THE CHEERING.  
CURRENTLY FIGURING OUT HOW THE HELL TO GET YOU HOME. SIT TIGHT.

 

Sit tight. SIT FUCKING TIGHT? What the hell does that mean? Stay here and don’t go anywhere while we rescue you? Or sit tight while we send you FOOD. I NEED FOOD, dammit. Did he miss the part where I mentioned I have about ten days of rations left?

Son of a _bitch_.

 

SOL 58

Seven days of food left, then I really start starving to death. If I survive this, I’m going to suggest that the next time they send people up here that they include actual live plants in the cargo so the poor assholes stuck up here can grow their own food.

I’m giving Ibiki two days to work this out and then I’ll halve my rations again to one bar a day. I’ve done it before when I’ve gone deep undercover on missions. The only difference is that I was eating properly before I left for the mission, so my body had ample calories stored. I’ve been running on half empty for about three months, so there’s not much, if anything for my body to draw on.

 

SOL 63

I think I’m finally going insane. I woke up this morning to find a small dog sitting on my chest. He was wearing a backpack. The mutt told me his name was Pakkun and that the ‘Boss’ would be by shortly and that I should probably comb my hair.

Of course maybe this is my mind’s way of coping with the fact that death is imminent some time in the very near future. The Boss could be whatever higher power that waits for all ninja once they finally kick the bucket. Of course I probably won’t be going out in a messy jutsu-created ball of glory, instead I’ll be wasting away here on my bunk before I pop my socks. Still, shit happens and this is what you get when you sign up for some madcap post-war scheme out of boredom.

At least the dog bought actual real food. It’s microwavable, and the sticker on the lid says “Beef Ramen.”

I suppose beggars can’t be choosers and at this point, ramen or not, it’s not a ration bar.

 

SOL 64

When I woke up this morning there was an ANBU standing at the end of my bunk. It was not my finest moment – firstly, because I was sleeping naked and secondly, all my shinobi survival instincts kicked in. I pulled a kunai and attempted to stab the man, while at the same time performing some kind of jutsu. I forget what it was; probably a water jutsu, which is my natural element.

When I came out of my shock-induced survival rampage, half the hab was dripping with water, and the man was crouched on the kitchen counter. The next thing I noticed was that this person was reading my copy of Icha Icha Paradigm and was wearing a black mask that covered the lower half of his face.

I decided enough was enough and took the better path to valour and passed out.

~~~~~~

Hatake is trying to get my attention. I’m currently giving serious consideration to continuing to pretend to be unconscious. Because of _course_ my brain has supplied Hatake Kakashi as my erstwhile rescuer. I know I’ve had a lot of impure thoughts – actually, pretty damn filthy, nasty thoughts – about what I’d like to do to him and what he could do to me, but really brain? Why in my final days does my mind have to provide Hatake as the solution to my problems?

Okay, he’s prodding my leg with his foot. Note how my hallucinating brain couldn’t put me back in my bunk, and that I’m still lying here in half an inch of water, naked, with my dingdong hanging out.

~~~~~~

 _Crap_. This is real, isn’t it? Somehow, Morino Ibiki has managed to get the Rokudaime, Hatake Kakashi, to Mars to rescue me.

Can I die now and avoid the embarrassment?

~~~~~~

“Oi, Umino. Wakey-wakey.”

“I’m awake, dammit.” I got to my feet, turned slowly around, and went to find a pair of pants. I will not let Hatake see me panic while I am naked. When I had a pair of standard issue pants on, I felt more in control of the situation and less like a homeless slob.

While I had been changing into pants it seemed Hatake had been busy. He’d cleaned up the mess with some kind of jutsu (proving he was awesome, channelling Mars chakra immediately like that) and was now leaning against the counter, mask down and half way through eating one of my few remaining ration bars.

“I hope you bought food, otherwise we’re both up shit creek.”

Hatake grinned. “Is that anyway to greet your rescuer, Iruka?”

“Would you prefer I get down on my knees and thank you suitably?” Well, the words were out of my mouth before I could think about them. In my defence, I haven’t spoken to a live human being in about two months. I’m a bit rusty.

“Oh, that is tempting.” Hatake fixed me with a piercing look, one that spoke of deep consideration and a certain amount of hunger. I remembered I was only wearing pants and that I’d been previously naked. Maybe he liked what he saw, or maybe he just was an irreconcilable pervert. Hard to tell. I decided to change topics.

“What’s in the bag?” I edged closer to the counter Hatake was leaning against and snagged a ration bar.

“A couple of things. Some proper rations for a start. Maybe a beer.”

“Beer? Ibiki let you bring beer?”

“Ibiki didn’t let me do anything. Rokudaime, remember?” Kakashi laughed. “Still, there’s some things I need to fill you in on, regarding your ‘rescue’.”

Now that sounded ominous. “Fill me in on what exactly?”

“First off, I need your word as a shinobi that what I am about to tell you remains confidential.”

“Of course. There’s no need to ask.”

Kakashi cracked the lid on two beers and passed one over to me. He took a sip of his beer, probably so he could collect his thoughts. I followed suit, reveling in the smooth, rich taste of something that wasn’t water for the first time in months. Who knew I’d miss alcohol so much?

“Ibiki pretty much lost his cool when he got your message scroll, or so I’m told. It’s pretty hard to get Ibiki to freak out, but you see, at this point you’d been declared dead and the entire Mars program a bust. It’s a good job you’d sent the scroll specifically to Ibiki, because if you’d sent it to mission control, it wouldn’t have gone anywhere. The program was dismantled soon after the rest of your team returned.”

I took a larger swig on my beer, running over the scenario in my head and being oh so glad as fuck I had done what I’d done. Truth be told, it hadn’t even occurred to me to send it to Mission. I might be starving to death as we speak if I’d done so.

“So how did he get this rescue mission together so fast?” I asked.

Kakashi looked sheepish. “Well, he didn’t. He sent me and my team a message immediately, and I came over here to get you.”

“Wait, you managed to perform the Great Jutsu by yourself? Even Naruto had to do preparation – there was team who helped create the seal and everything.”

“Iruka, the truth is we were already here. I’ve been part of an ANBU mission on Mars for the last two years.”

Bloody fuck. I think I may have said that out loud. “Wait,” I exclaimed, “you guys were already here? _How_ did you get here?”

“An early version of the Great Jutsu,” he replied. “We wanted to make sure Mars was technically viable before we popped another crew up here.” He finished his beer and went off to get another. When he returned, he placed a hand on my shoulder, a simple gesture shinobi to shinobi to warn he was behind me; usually a good idea with people trained to throw pointy objects at a rapid trajectory. The gesture did a number of things to me; it soothed me - it was human contact after months of nothing. It was also pleasurable, arousing, because hey, human contact with a very fit, very hot male I’d been fantasizing about for years. And yes, I was totally going to read further into the fact his hand lingered longer than necessary because the beer seemed to have loosened my inhibitions just a little bit.

 _Time to get back on track, Umino_ , I thought. Easier said than done. “So you guys have been perched in another hab watching me all this time?” The thought made me just a tad irritated.

“No, we had no idea you’d run into problems. We knew you guys had come up here, but not that something had gone wrong. Ibiki sent me a message scroll when he realized he couldn’t do anything to help you from his end, and I came out here as soon as I could. I would have come a lot sooner had I known, Iruka.”

I felt somewhat mollified but Kakashi’s explanation. I finished my beer and placed it back on the counter. “Okay, so what’s next then?”

“Well, you should get the few things together that you need to – stuff you can carry only – and we should get out here and back to Base.”

 _Hell, no._ The truth is my mind had been concentrating on what Kakashi was saying the whole time while my libido had been admiring the way his body moved in that ANBU get-up. I was absolutely _not_ going to pass up a golden opportunity like this – this being the fact I had Hatake Kakashi to myself and alone on a planet with only three other inhabitants – and I was feeling reckless and just a tad brave. If I’d read Kakashi right, he wanted me just as much I wanted him but was being all Mission Leader-y and responsible and that is totally not what I wanted right now.

I wanted to fuck like Martian bunnies.

“How about you stick around for the night and we leave tomorrow?” There, I’d said it. No taking that back now.

Kakashi fixed me with a look that did funny things to my stomach. “And what would you like me to tell the team as the reason why we’re not returning immediately? Unless of course you’d like Yamato to show up in a panic?”

I laughed. Yamato was the last person I’d ever expect to freak out over anything. He was Naruto’s team leader for a while after all, and had had to stuff the Nine Tails back into my erstwhile student on no less than at least one occasion that I knew of.

“How about you tell him I distracted you?” I leaned my hip on the counter and leaned into Kakashi’s space.

“Fine,” Kakashi replied huskily. He leaned into me slowly, like he was giving me time to back out if I wanted and after a long moment his lips touched mine hesitantly. I placed one hand on his neck and stepped into the kiss, deepening it, opening to his touch. I think I moaned; the kiss was divine, gentle and firm all at the same time, intoxicating. One of his hands rested on my hip and then he pulled me against him, all hard muscled body pressed to mine. He turned, pushing me against the counter and slipped a leg between my thighs, rolling his hips forward. I gasped and he took the opportunity to nuzzle into my neck just below my ear, hot breath on my skin.

I gripped his hips and pushed to meet him, feeling the hard length of his cock pressing against mine. Nothing could or would ever beat the touch of a real human being; god knows I’ve done more than enough jerking off to Icha Icha recently, but it didn’t come close to holding the real thing, to be able to thrust forward and feel that heady roll of desire slide through your body. I slipped my hand under the waistband of Kakashi’s standard issue pants and grasped a handful of firm, muscled ass. Kakashi’s hips jerked forward and his teeth grazed a path down the line of my neck. I could feel him fumbling with the catch on my pants, pushing them to the side; his hands cool on my hot skin and then he took my cock in hand and stroked firmly.

I nearly lost it then and there. I let out a gasp that was loud in the silence of the room, covered only by the soft, wicked laugh that Kakashi let out. I opened my eyes to see he was watching me, gauging my reactions as he stroked my dick, playing to what made my breath come faster and what made my hips jerk forward. Time to return the favour. I gave his ass a final squeeze and unbuckled his pants, ready to drop to the floor and show him what I could do with my mouth. When Kakashi realized what I had in mind, he shook his head and said, “Maybe later.” I pouted; I wanted his cock in my mouth. I could almost taste it, feel the weight of it heavy on my tongue.

Kakashi gave my dick a firm stroke to focus my attention. He took my hand in his and placed it on his erection, pressing close until our fingers were intertwined around our cocks. Then he starting thrusting into the tight channel of our fists. _Oh god_. The combination of his hand on my dick, mine on his, and the slick-slide of sensitive flesh was too much. My breath came faster, matching his. His lips rested against mine, exchanging eager kisses as my hips pushed forward into his hand. His fingers tightened around me, making everything so much more intense. His other hand pressed like a brand into the small of my back and I felt Kakashi’s hips stutter, lose the rhythm, and I knew he was close. I rolled my hips again and he responded, matching me thrust for thrust.

“I can’t – “

I have no idea what I was going to say, but suddenly I heard Kakashi moan, his cock twitched and I felt the welcome warmth of his come on my hand and then he was jacking me hard with a short, purposeful stroke that had my body arch beneath his touch until I couldn’t take it any more. I came so hard I couldn’t even shout; my body taught like a bow string as Kakashi continued to work me, until my body ached with the sensation but I never wanted it to end. He held me against him as I recovered, lowering us both to the floor but not letting go. We ended up in a tangle of limbs, his head resting on my shoulder, our hands still intertwined and our pants down around our asses. It was perfect, just as it should be.

I think I fell asleep that way.

 

SOL 65

So I woke up this morning in my bunk and Kakashi wasn’t there. I could hear the sound of me talking from the living area which is pretty damn weird since I happen to be in _here_ , trying to wake up. Then it occurred to me that the only way I’d be able to hear my own voice was if someone was watching my video diaries.

 _Shit_.

I legged it out to the living area, trying to pull on a pair of pants at the same time. Yep, damage done. Kakashi was sitting at the counter, one hand resting on his chin, watching me ramble on about whatever on video. He had the nerve to grin at me.

“So I’ve got a nice arse, huh?” he said.

“Nobody was meant to ever see these entries,” I said in a sulky voice. Kakashi leaned forward and kissed me lingeringly on the lips.

“I promise not to ever mention what you said in these,” he replied solemnly. “Although you do have some really good theories on stuff in here. Clever to figure out about the Mars chakra though.”

I nodded. “I was pretty impressed when you showed up and cleaned up all that water with a jutsu. I thought you’d fluked out on channelling the Mars chakra but of course you’ve been here for a long time, so you’ve gotten used to it.”

“Yep. Luckily the ANBU on my team are mostly chakra-powerhouses, so we got our base set up before we ran into the chakra problem like you did. But this whole experiment has definitely been interesting. We’ve learnt a lot and when we get back we can use a lot of what we’ve discovered for further research.”

“You guys are returning with me?” I was surprised; I expected to get packed off back to Konoha while the ANBU team stayed behind.

“We’ve been here two years. I think it’s time to get home. Speaking of,” Kakashi stood up and pulled me into a firm embrace. I felt the first stirrings of lust again and tentatively rolled my hips against Kakashi. “Hey,” he said, “I was going to say we should get ready to head back to base.”

I grinned into his shoulder and leaned up for a kiss. “Surely one more orgasm or two for luck couldn’t hurt,” I reasoned. “It’s going to be a long trip back. We should store up on quality time now because we won’t have it when we get to the MAV.”

“A very valid point,” Kakshi said, squeezing my ass. “I should maybe send that message to Yamato and tell him we’ll be late.”

I kissed Kakashi again and then dropped to my knees, reaching up to unbutton his fly. I had quite a lot of things on my Hatake Kakashi Bucket List and I wanted to get a head start before we had to leave. I’m pretty sure by the sounds Kakashi started to make shortly thereafter that he was in total agreement.

 

End.


End file.
